...and I am the first one to admit it.
Over the past few days, I’ve really been thinking about my place here at JoeUser. This is no goodbye entry or anything like that, so those of you who have read me in the past, I assure you that I am not going anywhere.
I have almost always made it a point in my online life that I don’t make things personal… that I don’t reveal too much about myself and try to allow others to do the same thing, because when you get personal, you give people ammunition against you later on. It has, for the longest time. served me well, because I’ve seen so many people in the midst of an intellectual argument get blindsided by an insult or comment about their personal life or by a piece of information they revealed months earlier.
I protect myself from being attacked on the personal level by not giving anyone an in, a chink in the phalanx of shields protecting me. As I stated on someone else’s blog, I am all persona here. I think it is probably the writer in me, the part that makes getting rejected on my ideas much easier than being rejected on a personal level. In fact, on the few occasions I have gotten personal by revealing something about myself, whether it be a picture or an anecdote, I felt a grave sense of anxiety.
And the irony is, I had one of the higher-point generating blogs on JU just over a year ago based on fluff, the occasional political piece and the two Simpsons families (one animated, one “musical”), while not really talking about myself or my life. I am not lamenting that I don’t hold that same place of prominence anymore, just observing that fact.
Of course, being insular has had its advantages. I don't think anyone really hates me here(at least not to my knowledge)... and I don't have any lasting enmity towards anyone here. I haven't really had any fights other than as part of a lively debate. It also means that I don't care who reads my entries... I don't have the fear that someone will discover that I've been talking about them behind their back, or that I am revealing something which shouldn't be out in public. I don't fear the retribution of my employers either. But at the same time, I have also denied myself the companionship of my fellow bloggers outside of this space, so it is not a position to take without costs.
*backs slowly away from getting really personal here*