A little bit weird, a little bit political with a lot of humor.
The Japanese were on to something.
Published on November 2, 2004 By historyishere In Music
We live in a society where doctors and lawyers along with a lot of other professions need to be licenced to perform their work, and with the recent rash of lip synching incidents, now seems like as good a time as any to implement a new system for dealing with these egregious performance frauds, and I think I have come up with a very workable and entertaining solution.

People who want to have a career singing in concert will have to perform Karaoke on television at least twice a year to obtain a licence to perform for the general public. Call it a spot check.

Basically, the audience would chose the songs that the alleged performer would have to sing so they couldn't just fake it with a studio recording they've already made, and it would be broadcast live coast-to-coast on network tv. The audience would then assess if you did indeed have the stuff to perform before a larger audience and the artist would be granted a license to play any show they wanted to.

Feasibly, this system would be somewhat limited, as there are many artists who can perform live, but there isn't enough air time for them all to take the test... so therefore, the cutoff point for having to obtain this licence would be... perhaps having sold 250,000 albums, or have a series of more regional license tests to weed out those who can't sing without technological support.

I don't think this is an unreasonable proposal... prove you can do the job.... and that you aren't a big fat faker who gets by on looks and the ability to shake their ass alone. So, if you are with me, after the election, send a letter to every politician you can and demand this kind of system be put into place.... and let the talented rise above the mediocre once and for all!

Comments
on Nov 02, 2004
Yay. Something else to license. Did you know we had to get an agricultural license to put fish in our pond? And I have to pay for all my fishing licenses (except on my pond) even though I catch none. I'm against unneeded licensure. To hell with Ashlee Simpson, et. al.--I just don't buy their albums.

Though I think this was a clever idear.

-A.
on Nov 02, 2004
An argricultural license!?! For fish... What the hell!?!

That's very, very odd....
on Nov 03, 2004
Yeah. That's kinda what we thought. So you can see that I'm not a big fan of silly licenses or laws (helmet, seatbelt) even though I can understand why they're there. We shouldn't have laws to protect us from our own stupidity--or in this case, protect us from stupidity backed by money and a greedy father.

-A.
on Nov 03, 2004
Pop acts actually singing live in concert started to die a death when over the top dance routines became the norm - it's just not easy to leap about a stage while singing. At the end of the day does it matter so long as it isn't obvious and the fans get a decent show? Granted, I've no idea who Ashlee Simpson is but I'm assuming she's not the type to just stand in front of the mike and sing her heart out like a lot of the soft jazz acts we're getting now. That would be different.

I can imagine bootleggers have the most to lose from lip-synching. There's not much point having a cd of a particular "live" concert available if it's identical to every other concert on the tour and not much different to the Best Of... cd.
on Nov 03, 2004
Very nice idea, history.
on Nov 03, 2004
Granted, I've no idea who Ashlee Simpson is but I'm assuming she's not the type to just stand in front of the mike and sing her heart out like a lot of the soft jazz acts we're getting now.


She only dances when she is in trouble.
on Nov 03, 2004
I see where you are coming from here, HiH. I really do.

But I am mean. If people want to fry their brains with filtered, pre-packaged, lip synched pop, let them. Let the "artists" synch themselves into obscurity. Screw 'em, and let the rest of us continue our daily search for real, meaningful music.
on Nov 03, 2004
You all know I'm joking around, don't you.... like the American public would stand for such a thing... but one can dream, can't they?
on Nov 03, 2004
Of course we know you were joking! I was just trying to play around with the idea.
on Nov 03, 2004
Seriously though.... the lipsynching artists are taking airtime away from the meaningful music

on Nov 03, 2004
Yes, they are. And it infuriates me to no end. That is actually one of the reasons I try to do my "Song of the Day" posts every so often. To spread the word about great music that folks aren't going to hear on the radio.

The problem is that radio has to cater to the lowest common denominator. And they want the catchy, accessible, stripped down music that they can sing along with after the first listen. That is what keeps the song in their head as they walk into the CD store, and that is what gets them coming back. They get tired of it quickly and need their next quick fix. Until we make a concerted effort to seek out and champion real talent, this is the way "pop" music is going to be. It is driven my CEOs and image consultants, not artists.
on Nov 03, 2004
And the music industry wonders why people are going to peer-to-peer networks to get the one hit these artists have.
on Nov 03, 2004
And the music industry wonders why people are going to peer-to-peer networks to get the one hit these artists have.


On the flipside, peer-to-peer networks (and for me more particularly Usenet) can be incredibly powerful tools to help people discover new artists. Yes, I download music. I download hard to find and little known bands and then listen to them. I then buy their stuff or dump it. Probably somewhere along the lines of 1/3 of my CD collection can be attributed to downloading, simply because I was able to listen to bands I wouldn't have found out about otherwise.
on Nov 03, 2004
See, if you look at all the things the RIAA is very against, it's usually things that have artist benefits... like net radio....

I am also familiar with a lot of artists who give some of their songs away as free MP3's to get people interested.... and epitonic.com is based on that model.