A little bit weird, a little bit political with a lot of humor.
A Dime a dozen
Published on September 15, 2004 By historyishere In Politics
There have been a lot of really good zingers against Bush in the past 4 years, and I thought it might be a good time to do a little bit of a list with the help of about.com!

Here we go...

"According to the recent polls, Bush has a slight lead over John Kerry. So today, Bush hung a banner over the White House saying, 'Mission Accomplished.'" —David Letterman

"George W. Bush surrounds himself with smart people the way a hole surrounds itself with a donut." —Dennis Miller

"Bush is smart. I don't think that Bush will ever be impeached, 'cause unlike Clinton, Reagan, or even his father, George W. is immune from scandal. Because, if George W. testifies that he had no idea what was going on, wouldn't you believe him?"

"According to the latest poll in the Washington Post, 63 percent of Americans said that so far they approve of President Bush. Not surprisingly, the other 37 percent are English teachers." —Conan O'Brien

"Bush advisers have long been worried that a lagging economy could hamper the president's re-election chances. They hope that the Cabinet shake-up will provide a needed jolt. If that doesn't work, North Korea has to go." —Jon Stewart

"President Bush's daughter Jenna was cited for underage drinking. That's too bad, when you see something like that happen. She was apparently slurring words, couldn't remember the alphabet. Oh, wait a minute. That's her father." —David Letterman

"Jenna and Barbara Bush celebrated their 21st birthday last week with a party at the Cheers Shot bar in Austin. Following Bush tradition, the drinking started at 5 p.m. and will end in 19 years." —Jimmy Fallon, Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update"

"President Bush this week said that between going to war and raising twins, he'd pick war. His daughters Jenna and Barbara then sent him a big bag of pretzels for the Super Bowl." —Dennis Miller

"You never see Bush in the Oval Office. He's always playing golf, or he's riding a horse in Texas, or he's playing tennis. You know? I can't tell if he's president or filming a feminine hygiene commercial." —Jay Leno

"President Bush announced we're going to Mars, which means he's given up on Earth." —Jon Stewart

"Bush has a new campaign slogan. It's 'Reformer with Results' Which I think is a big improvement on the old one: 'A Dumb Guy with Connections.'" —David Letterman

"There's a lot of controversy surrounding the authenticity of this memos shown on '60 Minutes' concerning President Bush and his service in the National Guard. If there's one thing you don't want to see, it's a president who didn't really win the election being brought down by phony documents." --Jay Leno

"In a shocking new book by Kitty Kelley, acquaintances of President Bush say that when he was in the National Guard that he liked to sneak out back for a joint or go in the bathroom and do cocaine. Isn't that unbelievable? They actually found people who saw Bush in the National Guard." --Jay Leno

"Monday on NBC Bush said about the war on terrorism, 'I don't think we can win it.' And yesterday he said at a rally, 'We will win it." John Kerry is furious. Now Bush is beating him on flip-flopping. Hey, that was his issue." --Jay Leno

"The L.A. Times reports that al Qaeda terrorists have been traced to Iran, and President Bush is talking tough. In fact he said he will attack the minute he has evidence his approval rating is under 45 percent." —Jay Leno

"Newly released transcripts reveal that President Nixon was drunk during the Arab-Israeli crisis of 1973. After hearing this, President Bush said, 'Hey, so was I!'" —Conan O'Brien

And finally:

"Democrats were quick to point out that President Bush's budget creates a 1 trillion dollar deficit. The White House quickly responded with 'Hey, look over there, it's Saddam Hussein.'" —Craig Kilborn"

Comments (Page 1)
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on Sep 15, 2004
"Newly released transcripts reveal that President Nixon was drunk during the Arab-Israeli crisis of 1973. After hearing this, President Bush said, 'Hey, so was I!'" —Conan O'Brien


"President Bush announced we're going to Mars, which means he's given up on Earth." —Jon Stewart


Those two are comic gold with a hint that it might ring true or does ring true. Though it is a cheap shot to hit somebody for being drunk during college, hell I was drunk during military service, off-duty of course, and will probably be drunk during my current return to college. Who knows, except Bacardi and Chivas, hehehehe
on Sep 15, 2004
"You never see Bush in the Oval Office. He's always playing golf, or he's riding a horse in Texas, or he's playing tennis. You know? I can't tell if he's president or filming a feminine hygiene commercial." —Jay Leno


I think that was the most unexpected cheap shot of them all... but I loved it just the same.


Though it is a cheap shot to hit somebody for being drunk during college


In 1973... Bush was in college? Interesting... I thought he was in the national guard at that time or at least that's what I was led to believe
on Sep 15, 2004
In 1973... Bush was in college? Interesting... I thought he was in the national guard at that time or at least that's what I was led to believe


hell I was drunk during military service, off-duty of course,


on Sep 15, 2004
So Noted
on Sep 15, 2004
Not to mention you can still go to college and be in the Guard, as far as I know.
on Sep 15, 2004
I did not know that...in all seriousness.
on Sep 15, 2004
When Fahrenheit 9/11 came out, Bob Dole tried to cheer up Bush by saying, "It takes me seven minutes to get up too".
-Bill Maher
on Sep 16, 2004

Reply #6 By: historyishere - 9/15/2004 11:05:08 PM
I did not know that...in all seriousness


You've never heard the "guard" being reffered to as "weekend warrior's"?
on Sep 16, 2004
I meant during time of war.... I know they are "weekend warriors" during peace time but I thought the Guard was a lot more active during wartime, active enough to preclude other jobs/education.
on Sep 16, 2004

Reply #9 By: historyishere - 9/16/2004 12:17:13 PM
I meant during time of war.... I know they are "weekend warriors" during peace time but I thought the Guard was a lot more active during wartime, active enough to preclude other jobs/education


Nope, not unless their unit is called-up!
on Sep 16, 2004
That explains a lot. Thanks for the info.
on Sep 16, 2004
Jon Stewart is amazing. He scored my faves for Bush and Kerry both.
on Sep 16, 2004
The Daily Show certainly does attack both sides... although whoever is in power usually gets it worse....

My favorite Daily Show desk moment was the day after the 2000 election where they made it look like Jon Stewart had been there all night and day waiting for the results. He had a 5 o'clock shadow and looked haggard and tired. It said a lot more about the 2000 election coverage in 15 seconds, than most other programs did in 30-60 minutes.
on Sep 16, 2004
It's funny but you Americans actually have some pretty good political satirists. I think I may change my opinion of US humour. NJot saying I thought it was bad, but we always get the impression over here that you don't do satire or irony.
on Sep 16, 2004
We do, but it is just not the biggest export of our humor. I hated Friends and Seinfeld, but I love the Daily Show with Jon Stewart and some parts on Mad TV.
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