Thought you could park with impunity did you!
Well, we always knew that the Swedes were cheapskates and flimflammers, and now we have proof! Apparently a Swedish scofflaw is claiming that a parking ticket he received on his snowmobile after parking it on the street for three hours in Warwick, England on the second day of summer has no basis in reality. This man has to take responsibility for his actions. He claims that it was parked in his garage the whole time... a likely story if I ever heard one. In fact, its one of the oldest stories in the book. Why doesn't he just tell the truth and admit his snowmobile was in fact there at the scene of the crime. It would be so easy to explain.
I know that summer in Northern Europe is a bit cooler than it is here in North America, but I never thought it would be possible for someone to ride a snowmobile from Sweden to Warwick, England for three hours.... probably to sip some fine British-type coffee drink,
got himself a ticket that he now refuses to pay for(he probably didn't park with the bicycles on Swan Street), and then just rode his snowmobile back to Sweden across the summer-frozen North Sea and the snowy reaches of the English countryside in June. But some people I know told me that in fact, Northern Europe is quite temperate that time of year, so there could be no way that this master criminal could drive across the sea to get to England and have his sissy coffee drink. So what is the next logical conclusion I can come up with?
He drove 1700 miles to Central England to have his milky mocha fix. It would be the perfect crime, it would. And I am sure he committed an number of other crimes on his way to England to undertake his heinous parking violation. Then, the same people who claimed that Northern Europe was warm in summer claimed that a snowmobile couldn't really use the highway system, or the Chunnel train for that matter, so I had to think of a new way this could all work, and then it came to me.
Those wily Swedes and their damn magic snowmobiles. It is a prototype unit that they are going to be using in their invasion of the world... we are going to be slaves to IKEA and luttefiske! God help us all.... its a conspiracy I tells you, a conspiracy. I mean, its the only explanation that fits. I could never believe that a fine bureaucratic system like Euro Parking Collection could make a mistake like that... I mean, they are infallible! They are like the Pope they are... the Pope of parking collection, and it would shatter my whole entire world view if they could make a mistake. I'd lose my religion.
So for my sake, just pay the fine on your snowmobile, because we all know you did it, and even if you didn't... well, my faith is in jeopardy if you don't.